Sleepless night

I had felt so good for days, but last night I hardly slept at all. I feel a large painful lump in my throat now where the radiation is killing the cells. It feels like a ball stuck in my throat, and it hurts to swallow, but also gags me when I try to swallow. I have to keep hydrated, but I don't want to eat because it hurts so bad. I tried taking something for pain last night. It only dulled it a bit, then it made me sick to my stomach and I spent a while on the bathroom floor hugging the toilet bowl again. Levi stayed up with me til I fell asleep at about 5am. He and Chris stayed home from church again. I am worried about them becoming inactive. I miss going to church. I miss food. I miss the taste and texture of food. I tried waffles last night. Even drenched in syrup, they were too rough going down. I think I'll stick to soups and puddings, altho pudding is starting to be too thick now. 

I hope for more sleep tonight. Even with Ambian, I only got a couple hours last night.